Austin Powers Quotes

• Austin Powers: Allow myself to introduce... myself.
  
  
• Dr. Evil: It's Doctor Evil actually. I didn't spend four years at Evil Medical School to be called Mister Evil thank you very much.
  
• Austin: There you are!
  Las Vegas Tourist: Do I know you?
  Austin: No, but that's where you are, you're there!
  
  
• Dr. Evil: When I get angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset... people die!
  
  
• Ivana: Do you know how we keep warm in Russia?
  Austin: I can guess, baby.
  Ivana: We play chess.
  Austin: I guessed wrong.
  
  
• Austin (with hurt feelings after Felicity's comments about his lost mojo): Ouch, Baby. Very ouch.
  
  
• Dr. Evil: You're not quite evil enough. You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough.
  
  
• Number Two: Dr. Evil, wouldn't it be easier to use your knowledge of the future to play the stock market? We could literally make trillions!
  Dr. Evil: Why make trillions when we could make...billions?
  
  
• Dr. Evil: Talk to the hand, 'cause the face don't wanna hear it anymore.
  President: What hand?
  Dr. Evil: You aren't all that and a bag of potato chips.
  President: What are you talking about?
  Dr. Evil: Don't go there, girlfriend.
  President: Whose girlfriend?
  Dr. Evil: Don't mess with me. I'm one crazy mo fo. I onced popped a cop cause he wasn't giving my props in Oak town. I've heard that somewhere.
  
  
• Scott: Look, I was wondering if we could work all this out? You are, after all, my father.
  Dr. Evil: Scott, you had your chance, okay? I've already had someone created in my image. He's evil, he wants to take over the world, and he fits easily into most overhead storage bins.
  Scott: Him? Look at him, he's crazy! He's like a vicious little Chihuahua thing. He'll kill me the first chance he gets.
  Dr. Evil: Probably.
  
  
• Scott: Well my friend Sweet Jay took me to that video arcade in town, right, and they don't speak English there, so Jay got into a fight and he's all, "Hey quit hasslin' me cuz' I don't speak French" or whatever! And then the guy said something in Paris talk, and I'm like, "Just back off!" And they're all, "Get out!" And we're like, "Make me!" It was cool.
  
  
• Scott: It's no hassle--
  Dr. Evil: Sh!
  Scott: But--
  Dr. Evil: Sh!
  Scott: I'm--
  Dr. Evil: Sh!
  Scott: All I'm say--
  Dr. Evil: Sh!
  Scott: They're gonna get a--
  Dr. Evil: Sh!
  Scott: I'm--
  Dr. Evil: Sh!
  Scott: I'm just--
  Dr. Evil: Sh!
  Scott: Would--
  Dr. Evil: Sh! ...Knock-knock.
  Scott: Who's there?
  Dr. Evil: Sh!
  Scott: But--
  Dr. Evil: Let me tell you a little story about a man named Sh! Sh! even before you start. That was a pre-emptive "sh!" Now, I have a whole bag of "sh!" with your name on it.
  
  
• Scott: I was thinking I like animals. Maybe I'd be a vet.
  
  Dr.Evil: An evil vet?
  Scott: No! Maybe like work in a petting zoo.
  Dr. Evil: An evil petting zoo?
  Scott: You always do that!
  
  
• Vanessa: That's you in a nutshell.
  Austin: No, this is me in a nutshell: "Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get into this bloody great big nutshell? What kind of shell has a nut like this?"
  
  
• Scott: I hate you! I hate you! I wish I was never artificially created in a lab!
  Dr. Evil: Scott, that hurts daddy when you say that. Honestly.
  
  

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