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• 100% of studies show that if you don't eat, you'll get hungry.
  
  
• As I said before, I never repeat myself.
  
  
• Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.
  
  
• I'm not completely crazy! Some parts are still missing.
  
  
• Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like nobody's watching.
  
  
• If you can't say anything nice...come sit by us.
  
  
• Know what I'm thinking? No. Neither do I; frightening, isn't it?
  
  
• How to become immortal: Read this again tomorrow and follow its advice.
  
  
• Life is what you make of it...kinda like Play-Doh
  
  
• Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  
  
• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  
  
• Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
  
  
• A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
  
  
• Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  
  
• If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
  
  
• I had a lovely evening. Unfortunately, this wasn't it.
  
  
• Never say 'OOPS!' always say 'Ah, Interesting!'
  
  
• Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy, check 3 friends, if they are ok, you're it.
  
  
• If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
  
  
• If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
  
  
• Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon.
  
  
• Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
  
  
• If too much love will kill you, I'm the healthiest person in the world.
  
  
• A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me. I'm afraid of widths.
  
  
• Tell your little voices to SHUT UP! I can't hear mine...
  
  
• Sometimes I think well. And sometimes I think: Oh well...
  
  
• Those are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others.
  
  
• Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
  
  
• Dieting: Wishful shrinking.
  
  
• I just got lost in thought... It was unfamiliar territory.
  
  
• I love my work, I could sit and watch it all day long.
  
  
• Some people have a way with words, while others... erm... thingy.
  
  
• I don't have a big ego, I'm way too cool for that.
  
  
• Si hoc legere scis numium eruditionis habes. - If you can read this, you're overeducated.
  
  
• Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  
  
• I always win. Except when I lose, but then I just don't count it.
  
  
• I used to work in an orange juice factory, until I got canned. Yeah, they put the squeeze on me, said I couldn't concentrate. You know, same old boring rind over and over again.
  
  
• A man who smiles when things go wrong knows who to blame.
  
  
• Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
  
  
• This isn't burger king, you can't have it your way.
  
  
• It said: 'Insert disk 3...' but only 2 fit in the drive.
  
  
• I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
  
  
• I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.
  
  
• My mind has always been my Achilles heel.
  
  
• Character is what you are. Reputation is what people THINK you are.
  
  
• Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
  
  
• The secret to finding something is knowing where it is
  
  
• A Nobel Peace Prize? I would KILL for one of those.
  
  
• Today is the tomorrow you were so worried about yesterday!
  
  
• I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.
  
  
• I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.
  
  
• The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.
  
  
• If we quit voting will they all go away?
  
  
• I'm not cynical. Just experienced.
  
  
• Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
  
  
• If you can read this, thank a teacher. - Anonymous teacher
  
  
• If it ain't broke, don't fix it. If you broke it, blame the closest person to you.
  
  
• I like nonsense, it awakens the brain cells.
  
  

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